Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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