mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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