Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
