I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
two words...techno handjob
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize