Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
