Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
honey bunches of taint.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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