She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
