Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
