My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
