oh god the rape fog is back!
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
