$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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