I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Bring me that man meat
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm too high and old for this...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
