Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
