i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
