I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
