I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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