in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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