So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
