YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
