I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
