A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
