So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
