Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
