remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
my liver is dry heaving
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
