kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
