I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
