what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
