I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
