but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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