ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
