I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
