Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
