I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
