he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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