I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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