i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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