Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
