I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
