I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
