Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
