Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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