I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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