One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
vagina is talking i cant
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
