Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
