he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
