i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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