Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
