16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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