He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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