Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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