Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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