i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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