she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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