I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
