what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
