I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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